The crickets all stopped chirping, then died from boredom

So, I seriously need to get back to posting here. And I have had so many funny things happen that would make great stories. I might have to do a retrospective. Or just post something. Anything.

In the meantime, here's a great link to inspire you just as much as it does me.

Yes, I'm a child.

Dueling for the Economy

I was skimming the AP online newswire when I came upon this headline:

"McCain, Obama offer dueling ideas to save economy"

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Except, I read it as this:

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"McCain, Obama offer to duel to save economy"

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That would certainly be an interesting way to address the problem, though I don't know that it would be very effective. I think I like Paulson's plan better, flawed as it is.

How to Draw A Straight Line (Vertical)

Dow, in the 1st 5 minutes of trading this morning. Also, if you've ever wanted to buy Iceland, now's the time.

IOKIYAR

"...a head like a lump of unbaked bread dough."

Lessons Unlearned

It's been a busy year. Whenever I am busy, I tend to indulge in fast food. It takes less time than cooking for myself. No cleanup. Also no nutrients. Never fails when I have junk food for more than the odd day now and then, maybe once per week, I will get sick. No question. And here I am, sick. Again. For the 7th time this year. Normally I'll get sick once or twice per anum. So far it's been once or twice per month.

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Tomorrow is my 37th birthday. I got to thinking this morning, while opening another box of Kleenex, that it might be high time for me to learn the lesson my phlegm presents me. I'm no longer 17, but I'm not 57 either. I still have some options for how to get away with being sick and continue moving like I'm not. Just not the options I had at 17, which were copious amounts of Dayquil and a Big Gulp Mountain Dew. Possibly a Snickers bar. Definitely a Big Mac.I am now more hollistic in my approach to treating illness. Might be a good time to become more holistic in my approach to preventing it.

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Out of curiosity, I clocked the time it takes me to drive to Carl's Jr. and back. Then I clocked the time it takes me to make a breakfast of eggs, bacon, toast and strawberries. Then I clocked the time it takes me to clean up afterward. Amazingly, only an extra 10 minutes for a decent homemade meal, and less gasoline consumption. Am I saving the planet? No. But, if I'd made this choice before now, I'd be posting about something other than my latest battle with snot. And oh, look! My Chevron bill just arrived. Wow. It's awfully heavy this month.

Leaving this world behind

Just now, I was sitting here in the office, enjoying a light lunch of cottage cheese and fresh nectarine slices, contemplating the perfect combination of sweet fruit and salty cultured dairy. Above me spins a ceiling fan which creates a constant breeze. The sound of the blades, the chill of moving air on my skin and one of my favorite summertime meals took me out of the present and into a past memory.

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My last remaining grandmother passed early Monday morning. She was 89 years old. She's been on my mind a lot lately, and especially since the beginning of the week. I'm recalling childhood summers spent with her and my grandfather in their home down South. He planted his own garden each year which yielded amazing fruits and vegetables that we all enjoyed. My grandmother fried anything that couldn't jump out of the pan. I'd bake a cake and we'd commit a good portion of time to decorating it with everything the local grocery had available for such occasions. But mostly I remember the sweltering heat outside and us languishing indoors under the ceiling fans in the middle of the day, drinking sweet tea, watching game shows, soap operas and Wild Kingdom. In the evenings we would move out to the back porch, watch the sky turn tangerine, then purple, then black. In the early mornings we'd tend the garden a little. Well, THEY would tend the garden while I whined from the house that I was afraid of chiggers and ticks. Silly west coast girl that I was.

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So, here I sit, under my fan, eating fresh seasonal fruits, drinking iced tea while the heat rages outside, and remembering my grandmother. She will be buried not a mile from that home I visited, under an old oak tree next to my grandfather who passed two years before. Their plots face west with a perfect view of those beautiful sunsets. I wish them both happiness, peace and gallons of sweet tea in the afterlife.

No, tell us what you REALLY think!

Two weeks ago I was at the gas station when I noticed someone had left a heartfelt note on the pump's sale screen. I wondered if I should laugh or cry or both.